Lost

Lost.

Yup, that basically describes my life right now. Lost in this astronomy class that I’m sitting in right now. Staring at a blank page that should probably be filled with notes. Lost in my thoughts, memories, dreams, fears. Lost in wondering whether or not tomorrow is gonna come. Lost in hoping that one day things will start to make sense. Lost in life.

I feel hopeless. Like one morning I woke up and any hope I had for the rest of the day, week, month, year, was gone. Nowhere to be found. I have no idea where I’m going, what I’m doing, or who I supposed to be anymore. I’m coming to realize just how hard life can be. Not so much physically hard, but mentally and emotionally hard. It’s busy and draining and is taking a huge toll on me lately. So many things to do, so many things to figure out, so many things to remember, being pulled in so many different directions by different commitments I’ve made because I just can’t let myself say no to anyone. I don’t want to make anyone unhappy. I don’t want to let anyone down.

Exhausted, empty, and lost. Three words that I have been feeling for months. I don’t let anyone see it. I know how to hide it, but I can’t seem to figure out how to make it go away. I want to feel free and like I know what I am doing. I want to find myself and who I was meant to be in this life. I want to help people and be there for people. I know that someday I will find myself. That day will come, I’m not doubting that. Everything will make sense at some point and I’ll look back at this time and see how it made that sense come about. It’s just this time now, feeling so lost, uncertain, scared, empty. I don’t know how to handle it. And admitting that makes me feel weak and small.

I know that everyone has times like this that they go through. I am not blind to that fact. I know that life isn’t always as peachy as we wish it were. But I’m not giving up. I’m trying to make the most of everyday that comes about. I’m trying to make the most of the time that I have with the people I love most. Despite how I may be feeling inside. I say this because, no matter how hard things might get, no matter how lost you feel, how empty you feel, there will come a day when those feelings are gone and replaced with peace. We just have to find hope for that time, have faith that it will come, and wait. Patiently wait.

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Who Am I?

I am a person with a dream.

A dream that so many other people possess.

I want to help change the world.

Help make it a better place for all of us.

I want to help people who are in need, who have lost hope, and who simply need someone to care about them.

I don’t want to live my life for me, I want to live it for others.

How in the world can I accomplish that?

With the power of music.

Something you may not know just by looking at me is that I am a Christian and my faith is a huge part of my life.

I’m here to tell you that I believe that God has given me a talent to be used to share a song of hope to those who have lost hope.

Now I’m not trying to preach at all, I’m just informing you of the most important part of my life.

I know that there are many people out there that don’t believe in God.

I sing for them too.

Anyone that is going through life feeling unloved, lost, hurt, or scared, I sing for them.

No matter what beliefs people may have, I hate for anyone to go through life without hope.

I want people to know that they are loved.

I want people to see that life does get better.

When I was at the lowest point in my life, I felt like I was left stranded, alone, to fend for myself.

I had lost hope.

But I have come to realize that was merely a lie that was planted in my head.

I know that there are people out there that believe those same lies.

I want to spend my life trying to help destroy those lies.

Who am I?

I’m a girl with a passion for music and for sharing the grace of God.

I try to show that through the songs that I write.

I write about personal experiences, good and bad.

I write songs based off of stories that I hear about other peoples’ lives.

I write to help people realize that no matter what they may think, they’re not alone.

There are people in this world, going through the same stuff that they are.

They too feel alone, helpless, and hopeless.

I write songs in an attempt to give those people hope.